Actor denies misconduct, blames breakfast meats.

WTF REPORT: BUSEY’S BUTTERED MELTDOWN

“One fan claims he tried to autograph her neck with a breakfast link.”

HOLLYWOOD, CA — Actor Gary Busey is once again trending for all the wrong reasons — and this time, it’s not a movie, it’s a meltdown served hot and greasy.

According to multiple sources, the 80-year-old actor was attending a nostalgic autograph signing at a local pop culture expo when things allegedly got weird… buttered sausage weird.

“He kept rambling about buttered sausages and where they come from,” said fan Danielle K., who came to the event with a vintage Point Break poster but left with something far less wholesome. “Next thing I know, he’s holding a sausage like a Sharpie and trying to write on my neck. I thought it was a bit… until he unwrapped it.”

Yes. Unwrapped it.

Security was reportedly called, but the situation de-escalated when Busey shouted, “It’s not harassment! It’s artisanal breakfast!” before slipping on what appeared to be his own butter packet and falling into a merch table labeled “TV’s Greatest Dads.”

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BENNY DRINKS A MONTUCKY WHILE THE HONORABLE IZZY OSBORN EXAMINES EVIDENCE BAG “A” THE BUTTERED SAUSAGES. BUSEY AND HIS ATTORNEY ALLEGEDLY ALLEGE ALLEGATIONS.

🎙️ THE BUTTERED BACKSTORY

Fans of internet lore may remember the viral deepfake video that catapulted the phrase “buttered sausages” into the meme hall of fame. The clip — actually comedian Jeff Richards wearing a terrifyingly real CGI Busey mask — featured a hyper-realistic Busey-like rant about breakfast meats, women, and the meaning of existence.

RUNNING OUT OF EVIDENCE TO DEFEND BUSEY, ADAM SANDLER STANDS AS A PART OF BUSEYS LEGAL TEAM, MOSTLY TO HOLD EVIDENCE BAG “B” WHICH IS MORE BUTTERED SAUSAGES.

But now, the real Gary seems to be living in his fake shadow… and confusing fans in the process.

“I thought it was Jeff doing another skit,” said one fan who filmed part of the encounter. “But then the smell hit me. That was real butter.”

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🧈 BUSEY SPEAKS OUT

Busey has since responded to the allegations, issuing a statement via napkin scrawled in grape jelly and faxed to local press:

“THE MEATS MADE ME DO IT. I AM BUT A VESSEL FOR THE SAUSAGE TRUTH. – GB.”

His reps followed up by clarifying he meant no harm and was simply “immersed in a performance piece about the fragile masculinity of breakfast culture.”